FML
by Kokoro Kirei
Summary: Based off some FMLS I found. This is the first time I'm doing something like this, so go easy please! Pairings vary, characters vary too. OH! If you go to FML and find a funny one, could you suggest it to me? I'd really appreciate it :
1. IN THE BATHROOM! OH NOES!

**IN THE BATHROOM**

Shion Kaito woke up at 3 in the morning with a tingling in his pants. If he had any pants on. Yes, that was one of his little secrets- he slept in his nuddy-pants.

"Aahhhh…" Kaito groaned. He wasn't sure if he should make a naked dash to the bathroom and get his… oo-er, _business_, over and done with. After all, he lived with the rest of the VOCALOIDs- Miku, Meiko, Luka, Rin and… Len.

Hmmm… Kaito thought to himself. Maybe I'll go just for the latter- WAIT, WHAT THE FUSCHIA? DID I JUST THINK THAT? Kaito shook his blue hair- CLEAR SHAMPOO!style- and was about to walk over to his closet to put something on. When he felt the bed under him getting a little… eh… warm.

Quick as lightning, Kaito jumped out of bed and sprinted towards the C/R. He blasted open the door and ran to the bowl. He sighed contentedly as the stuff spilled out… wait, that sounds wrong. As he released it… That's worse. Um… well… he did stuff that WE do on the bowl.

He just finished when the hair on the back of his neck stood up. Someone was there. WATCHING ME. Out of habit, he had done it (not THAT it.) facing the wall. He slowly, _very slowly_, turned around. Then he belted out one of his MANLY screams. (Check out WORLD IS MINE- KAITO. At 4:09:D)

Meet Kagamine Len, our latest toilet voyeur. Len raised a pencil-thin eyebrow. "What? You left the door open," Len said lackadaisically, yawning. And _then _he noticed Kaito, erm… In his birthday suit.

Kaito could feel his whole face turn shade after shades of red as an awkward stare war ensued. Then Len called for peace.

"Your penis is small," he said good-naturedly as he walked out of the bathroom with a smile on his face.

**A/N: o.o Len… I can just imagine that smile. *shudders* Shota rape face… I can't even remember WHY I chose this FML. –Kiri**

**Anyways… I think this is better than the one before. I THINK.**


	2. LE IRISH PUBE er I mean PUB

**LE IRISH PUB**

One cold, dark fall night, two teenagers, Kagamine Rin and Haine Len, were walking back to the campus of Crypton Uni. They had been out on a romantic date, and as they walked back to campus, they held hands and whispered loving words into each others ears.

"I love you, Rinny," Len whispered, his face close to Rin's. Rin lowered her eyes, blushing so furiously that even the tips of her ears were red as a beetroot. "Shh… Not here, Len-Le-" she was cut of mid-sentence as Len's cheek grazed hers.

She was about to turn around for more, but heard quiet chuckling instead. "Hehe, fine," Len said, grinning from headphone to headphone. Rin nodded grudgingly and walked on, with her head hung low and her shoulders stooped.

After some time of awkward silence, they passed by an Irish pub. The air reeked of smoke and old-man-perspiration which grew unbearably stuffy by the minute. "Len, let's g-" Rin was stopped by Len's arms wrapped tightly wound aroung her waist and his warm hands patting her stomach.

"Yay! It's yours!" Len whispered in Rin's ear. Dumbfounded, Rin stood rooted to the ground. What? Len wanted to do it HERE? Why HERE of all places? In front of so many people? It was five minutes before curfew! Why-

While Rin was thinking, she unconciously lifted her eyes to the heavens. Then something caught her eys. Big, flashy neon words. The name of the pub. Guess what it was?

Len smiled as he said: "FAT BELLY'S!"

**F. R.'S L.**

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**A/N: Yeah… so this is my first fanfic ever! Ugh… it's not very good. I got the idea while surfing FML. Hence, the name of this… Article? Story? Thing-that-wasted-about-five-minutes-of-your-life…?**

**... So… r&R please :D Oh yeah, I will post more of this later.**


	3. Blabber dot Com

**Author's Notes: Ok... These days, I have been very stressed. I have many major birthday celebrations to attend, I'm moving to a new school, living with the possibility I'm going to Canada (I don't have anything against the place... since I know NOTHING of it...), I have a piano/singing recital, my friends are pressurizing me to continue writing Bite Me if You Can when I'm having a MAJOR case of writer's block and stress, and of course, CHRISTMAS. So I was looking through my documents to relieve stress and found TONS of FanFics for Vocaloid that I'd totally forgotten. They were written quite some time ago, so they're craptastico... So yeah. **

**This was meant to be humourous, but I suck at normal humor that most people like. So yep. Erm... Enjoy my crappy work I think. Teehee. :D**

**DISCLAIMER: I do not own VOCALOID. If I did, I would make Haine Lin and Ren official VOCALOIDs. Have you heard them? They sound AWRSHURM, ESPECIALLY Ren. Teehee... *nosebleeds while maintaining wierd, sadistic fangirl look***

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**Neru Akita says: Oh… Len-otōto and mom just came back from the grocer's.**

**Friday, November 19, 2010, 13 10**

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**Neru Akita says: Hmmm… Len-otōto's coming over here. I wonder why, since he hates me cos of his little girlfwend Riiiin. Post in a few minutes.**

**Friday, November 19, 2010, 13 11**

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**IN THE AKITA HOUSEHOLD**

"Neru!" Len called for his elder sister, who was 12 years his senior. Neru bounded over to her 5-year old brother, obviously ecstatic that he was finally talking to her.

"Yes, my totally kawaii little bro?" Neru asked sweetly, obviously wanting to get back into his good books.

Len blushed shyly and bit his lip as he twirled his left foot on the floor. "I want to tell you something, onē-san…" He muttered as he motioned for Neru to kneel down from her tremendous and astonishing height. (5ft.)

Neru giggled as she knelt down. Len grinned at her widely as he said: "Neru- onē-san, you are very pretty!"

Neru's face lit up and her eyes widened as something stirred within her soul. "Really?" Len nodded his head vigorously.

Neru squealed with delight as she took out her iPop 4 and opened the app. She then opened the "Video Camera" and selected the "ADD TO PAGE RIGHT AFTER RECORDING WITH NO QUESTIONS ASKED". There. She focused the camera on Len's face and pressed play. "Ok, Lenny, could you say that again for Nene-chan?"

Len flashed a crooked smile. Neru thought there was something a bit… off about it, but nevertheless, continued with the show. "Akita Neru, Born November 1, 1990, in Sapporo, Japan, to Akita Miku and some random guy from a one-night stand, YOU ARE VERY PRETTY!" He yelled into the camera.

In an instant, Miku, their mother, came along, her unblinking eyes flashing with anger. "AKITA LEN!" She yelled with an ugly snarl. "HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU, LITTLE BOYS SHOULDN'T LIE! SAY SORRY TO NERU NOW!"

Len sniffed a little, and turned to his dumbstruck sister. "I'm… s-s-s-s-sorry, onee-s-s-san… f-f-f-for l-lying…" He sniffed again, displaying his cut puppy-dog eyes. "Ok. Now BACK TO YOUR ROOM!" Miku's voice was cold and hard. Len ran up the stairs, four steps at a time, and Miku-Mama followed suit.

Neru was dumbstruck. She slowly pressed the "END" button. Of course, she had totally forgotten that right after she had pressed end, the video would be posted on her BABBLER account. Broadcast to half the school.

Oh crap.

**F*CK. NERU'S. LIFE.**

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Author's Notes: Hey... It's Kiri's sis, Katie. Um... -Katie

***Sitting in emo corner***-Kiri

**Um... My sis -well, actually she isn't my sis, she's a friend- is having an emo moment. She asked her close friend what her favourite story by her was... -Katie**

And she said NONE! Because my writing skills suck! And SHE'S the one who told me I was great at writing and I should post these up! Back then, I was too shy, cos' I was afraid what people would say. Then she told me not to care because they were great... -Kiri

**Well you're listening to what she's saying right now. -Katie**

...Oh yeah. -Kiri

**I'll just say it for her: R&R please! -Katie**

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EDIT: Hey, Kiri. -Katie

Yeah, Katie? -Kiri (Back to happy self. YEHY!)

Um... I posted our whole coversation just now in your A/N. You want me to take it down? -Katie

No, it's ok! -Kiri (totally oblivious)

So... You won't take it down or anything? -Katie

Yep! -Kiri (still blabbering like an oblivious fool)

Victory. -Katie


End file.
